Hi,

This is the first time i have posted on this web site, so please forgive me i rant on.

My husband used to be a J.W from birth untill 16yrs old (he is now 23). I do not know the full details as to why he left the congregation. He still belives in NO blood due to the research that he did on alternatives.

I am not apposed to recieving blood.

This is the problem our 2yr old son may require blood when he has surgery to have his haemangioma removed.

What would happen if ..

I as mother says YES to blood and my husband as father says NO to blood ?.

Thank you for your time in reading this

you need to make a decision, given what you wrote, you are best advised to contact hospital administration (someone who deals with consents) and ask about the process when two parents may disagree about signed consent for a procedure that is deemed "medically necessary" (leaving out any discussion of what this entails).

You might also explore the use of non-blood alternatives with your child's surgeon, in a pre-emptive planful manner given that it sounds as if surgery is planned, but not urgent.

Lastly, you might also familiarize yourself with the role of Child Protection authorities (or whatever they are called in England) who will have a vested interest if "medically necesary" treatment is refused.

Once you have all the infomration, it is best if you and your husband can come to some mutual agreement about the options that are in front of you before you find yourselves "in the heat of the decision-making moment".

Good luck.

One parent's consent is enough

__________________
Jo Valenti, RN
CBMS
Kennedy Health System

Technically speaking the counsel of the previous poster is likely accurate in the UK. However, rather than bank on your authority trumping that of your husband, why don’t you discuss it with him and do some problem-solving before you find yourself in a situation where you are forced to make a decision that could have far reaching implications for your family.

If the surgery is elective (and it sounds as if it is as you have presented it), why not do some planning around options?

Have you considered the alternatives? What benefit will the transfusion bring, what are the alternatives and discuss this with your husband given that he has done quite a bit of research on the subject, he probably loves your son too and wants him to receive the best of treatment. I would certainly discuss this with the hospital consultant. My brother turned down a blood transfusion after heart surgery (with my advice) and I persuaded my mum to refuse it when told it was necessary during chemo after her masectomy. That was a couple of years ago, both are doing fine. All the best for you and your family. A hard decision for all of you.

thank you for your reply this is the husband speaking i agree with my wife that my son should not be put at risk
. i am happy that you feel that way and support anyone that decides that they dont want blood this is due to personal reasons and not some hangover from my jw upbringing.

however to all those out there that disagree with this way of thinking i am a living example that doctors
do from time to time (as we all do) make mistakes. i was born a few weeks after my mother and father were baptized and became full beliving jw's. When i was born 8 weeks prematurly, i had yellow janduce and sceptacimia amongst other things (sorry for any spelling mistakes- im dislexic) doctors told my parents that unless i had a full blood transfusion, (all my blood taken out and replaced with someone elses) i would definatly die within a few days/weeks. as u can guess they refused blood on my behalf 23 years on i am still very much alive and kicking
this dose not mean that i will say no to blood for my son just on the grounds that i was fine so he will be, but i personaly feel that the dangers associated with blood transfusions far outweigh any possible benifits.

hopefully between ourselfs, my wife and i will, after looking at ALL the options, be able to reach a comprimise that is satisfactory to us both without ever endangering my sons life, wich is the most important thing to us both. if anyone has any knolage or information please can they notify us, any help is aprecciated

Hi, was just wondering how this has progressed? Have you managed to talk to consultants yet?